


someone will love you.

by softyjseo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mentioned EXO, Short, alternative universe, depressed sehun, heavily unbeta'ed, lu han and tao are really only here because they used to be a ship, they leave anyway so, wrote this in one sitting excuse me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 18:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15955034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyjseo/pseuds/softyjseo
Summary: the first three times oh sehun's heart gets broken, and the fourth time where it doesn't.





	someone will love you.

The first time Sehun fell in love, he was eight years old. A new boy had moved into the house next to him, and even though his mother had told Sehun that love is between a man and a woman only, Sehun couldn’t help himself when he approached the boy and became friends with him.

The boy his name was Lu han, and he was older than Sehun. They played together every single day when school was over, and small Sehun who had no idea what love really felt like, and what it meant, felt himself fall for Lu han.

Lu han would indulge him. He allowed Sehun to cling to him. They cuddled, laughed and played and for the younger of the two it was the best time of his life.

When Sehun turned ten, Lu han moved away, his house empty and Sehun’s heart broken.

Sehun’s first broken heart hurt, and even though his mother and father tried to convince him that he was just sad because he had lost a friend, the young boy knew it was something else. He had lost friends before, and this felt entirely different.

 

The second time Sehun falls in love, he’s fourteen years old. Comfortable in his second year of middle school, surrounded by his friends, Sehun falls for a boy called Tao. The boy is a Chinese exchange student, and even though all the other kids avoid Tao because he has a ‘scary’ face, Sehun is intrigued.

It doesn’t take long for Sehun to become friends with Tao, even though the language barrier is sometimes hard to overcome. They play video games together, share their first alcoholic beverage together in the silence of Tao’s parents basement, and it leads to Sehun and Tao sneaking alcohol out of his dad’s cabinet every Saturday.

‘’you’re very pretty, Sehunnie.’’ Tao said, his gaze fixated on Sehun. The boy gulped, almost choking on the sip of beer he had in his mouth. He swallowed, turning to look at Tao with raised eyebrows and a blush covering his cheeks.

‘’wh-what?’’ Sehun stuttered, and before he knew it, Tao had kissed him. He dropped his bottle in favour of grabbing at Tao’s face, resting his hands on his hollowed cheeks. After a few moments, Tao had pulled away and smiled.

When Sehun arrived at school the next day, people laughed at him when he entered through the gate. The hushed whispers didn’t stop, not when Sehun reached his locker and not when he walked into his classroom.

Tao was seated perched up on Sehun’s table, surrounded by their classmates. Tao met Sehun’s questioning gaze with a wicked smile on his face, and Sehun’s eyes widened as Tao pointed at him, opening his mouth and yelling: ‘’there’s the faggot!’’

Sehun’s second heart break had hurt more than his first. With Lu han, he had kept his other friends. With Lu han, no one at school figured out who he was. With Tao, bullying started and his old friends left. With Tao, a piece of his heart shattered into pieces, falling onto the classroom floor. Completely unfixable.

With Tao came the bullying, the calls from his school to his parents. With Tao came the yelling, his parents distress and their divorce. With Tao came physical pain, heart ache and his family falling apart.

All because of one damn kiss.

 

The third time Sehun fell in love, he refused to act on it. He turned to admiring Junmyeon from afar, the high school student council president blissfully unaware of the boy watching him during baseball practice.

He watched Junmyeon walking through the school hallways, always surrounded by other people and never a moment alone. Sehun was the complete opposite, trudging through the hallways with no one but his earphones, his music filling his ears instead of the chatter around him. the bullying had stopped at that point, but no one dared to approach Sehun.

No one wanted to, in Sehun’s mind. No one could ever want to be friends with someone like Oh Sehun; a faggot, the reason his parents divorced and his dad killed himself. The reason why his grandpa didn’t come over to their house anymore, disappointed in his grandson.

And yet, Sehun found himself being used by the boys in his school. Whenever a classmate would want something, Sehun let them do it. He let himself be thrown against a wall out of everyone else’s view and kissed raw by his seniors. He let them screw around with him.

He let them fuck him in the broom closet and the locker rooms, only to be shoved into the wall by them and called a faggot ten minutes later in the hallway.

Sehun didn’t mind. Attention was attention. Whether it was negative or positive, Sehun was happy with the fact that people still wanted something to do with him. He knew he meant nothing to any of the boys that messed around with him. He knew he didn’t mean jack shit to Junmyeon when the senior was finally the one to pull Sehun aside and kiss him raw, and for once Sehun couldn’t bring it in himself to care.

He let Junmyeon fuck him. He let Junmyeon manhandle him and didn’t complain, didn’t whimper and didn’t scream whenever Junmyeon would hurt him.

Sehun was left heart broken and even more numb than before when Junmyeon graduated and left for college.

 

It took a while, but Sehun found himself seated on a chair in freshman orientation for college. He found himself surrounded by students his age, all thrilled and just as nervous to start the new chapter in their life.

The only reason why Sehun decided to go to college was to leave his mother’s claws and his small town. The big city attracted Sehun in ways he had never felt, so Seoul University was his only option. He barely made it, but yet he was sitting in that chair, letting people around him chat and talk and introduce themselves.

Sehun met Baekhyun and Chanyeol when he moved into his dorm later that day. Apparently, his roommate was going to be the flamboyant Baekhyun, and his _boyfriend_ Chanyeol was here to help move him in.

It had shocked Sehun to the core. It was the first time in his _life_ that he saw a relationship between to men, and one of them was his roommate. Sehun felt a spark of hope for the first time in eleven years that day, and he smiled for the first time in three years when Baekhyun invited him to come over to Chanyeol’s room to play computer games with him and his roommate.

Sehun hadn’t planned on it, but the moment he walked into Chanyeol’s room, he was astonished by the sheer beauty of the man seated on one of the single beds perched against the wall. He was introduced to the tan skinned beauty, who’s name turned out to be Jongin, and they all played games the entire night.

Sehun felt whole for once when he plopped onto his bed that morning, his eyes heavy with exhaustion but his heart filled with laughter and love. It was terrifying, and for that sole reason alone, Sehun couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep.

 

Sehun hated how easy it was for Jongin to waltz into his life, breaking down the walls Sehun had carefully built around his heart. It was as if Jongin just barged in, a hammer in hand and his signature smile on his face. It terrified Sehun to no end, but he couldn’t seem to stop Jongin and truth be told, he didn’t want to stop the older.

Two years after their friend group had formed, Jongin asked Sehun on a date. Sehun had ran, leaving a hurt Jongin in his wake. The youngest of the group stayed in bed for three days, not answering anyone’s calls and not listening to Baekhyun begs to try and make Sehun talk.

All Sehun could do was cry and recall everything that had happened. From Lu Han moving away, to Tao’s betrayal and all the high school boys who had taken advantage of Sehun when he was fragile.

The thought of Jongin liking him back, maybe one day even love him, filled him with so much warmth. But, Sehun knew he couldn’t be selfish, and that’s what he told Jongin later that day while the elder of the two was standing on the sidewalk, and Sehun on the grass in front of the dorms.

He had spoken to Jongin in a serious tone, his voice low and his eyes apologetic. He had cried, and so had Jongin. Jongin had yelled at him, had reached out for Sehun and Sehun let him.

Sehun simply couldn’t believe that someone like Jongin would be willing to date someone like himself. Jongin had embraced Sehun that day and hadn’t let go. Not even when Sehun fell to the ground, the weight of his emotions finally getting to him. Jongin hadn’t let go even as Sehun rocked back and forth, telling Jongin exactly _why_ he refused to believe that Jongin could love someone as _filthy_ as Sehun.

Jongin had bristled, scowled and cried with Sehun. He had kissed Sehun after a few moments of silence, and for the first time ever since Tao had kissed Sehun, the young male felt something. He felt his heart speed up, the butterflies in his stomach flying around and he felt a warmth spread across his chest, the lovely heat curling around his heart and breaking the ice that had formed around it.

It took months, but Sehun learned to believe that Jongin was in fact in love with him. It took months, but Sehun finally opened up to Jongin, physically and mentally. Jongin was there for him, every step along the way. Baby steps were made, sometimes leaps, and Jongin was there for every single one of them.

The fourth time Sehun fell in love, it was reciprocated. Jongin fell just as hard as Sehun fell. The duo shared everything together, from kisses to stories to an apartment. Sehun loved being able to fall asleep on Jongin’s chest every night, loved waking up to the same face he loved so much every single morning.

His heart skipped a beat every single time Jongin smiled at him, and Sehun fell more in love each and every time Jongin kissed him. It was as if Jongin picked up the pieces of Sehun’s heart, shattered along the memories of the boy his memories, and glued them back together.

Sehun never experienced his fourth heart break, his hand still intertwined with Jongin’ as they walk down the aisle after saying ‘I do.’. His lips still on Jongin’ as they cry over their little baby girl going off to elementary school. His heart still beating for Jongin after she leaves for college.

His last breath dedicated to proving his love to Jongin once more, before closing his eyes and letting darkness take over his body.

‘’I love you, Jongin.’’

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys
> 
> thank you for reading this. haven't been doing well mentally, hence the sadness in this one. i heard the song 'sorry' by halsey and that shit hit hard. this is slightly inspired by that. i wrote this in one sitting, so excuse the poor grammar and stuff. just felt like getting it out there.  
> kudo's and comments are appreciated. 
> 
> love you,  
> D.
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/softyjseo)


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